You know, you all are a fickle bunch.
I write some amazing stuff about villains and movies and comic book stuff and you guys are like “Meh.” I’ve broken Disney World, introduced you to DMFRHs, even wrote a post defending Miley Cyrus of all people. And what’d I get? Crickets. But let me write a little something about a couple of assclowns dogging my wife when she quit her job—yes, the same ones who dropped that super-fantastic voicemail (when are one of you guys gonna auto-tune it?)—and you all give me the single best day on my blog in 2 years! I’m talking about thousands of views. Getting UpVoted on Reddit. And then you asked for more.
Hey, I’m just giving the people what they want.
Now, for the 4 of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, last year my wife joined a fledgling travel agency called Blue Sky Journeys as a Disney Vacation Planner. I even wrote a sappy lil post about it. Then she got hit with a Cease & Desist from another agency and my girl decided to move on. That didn’t go over so well. Not at all. I wrote a couple of VERY popular blog posts (check them out here, here, aaaannnnd here, and, oh yeah, here), John and Melanie Swoap (the owners of Blue Sky Journeys) left us an AWESOME voicemail, I became a “sack of shit,” and we received several expletive-laced invitations to Tennessee, bosom of America.
But that was last December. And not a week has gone by where I haven’t gotten a “when are you gonna write another post?” inquiry. I didn’t really have much more to say: my wife had moved on, John and I had said all there was to say, and keeping it going was like poking fun at the kids on the short bus. Even I’m not that mean.
But then I started hearing stuff.
First it was little shit like my wife saying, “This agent or that Disney blogger LOVED your blog.” I’d smile and my head would swell and then I’d go back about my day.
Then it was, “Hey, the Earmark Committee knows all about your blog.” Earmark Committee? What’s the Earmark Committee? “Oh,” my wife would say, “they’re the people who decide whether a travel agency becomes an Authorized Disney Vacation Planner. It’s kind of a big deal.” And they know about my blog? “Yeah! They think it’s hilarious! Things aren’t gonna look so hot for Blue Sky Journeys come renewal time.”
Hmm.
But then things took a different turn when my wife got a call that said, “Hi, this is Such-and-So from Disney’s Legal Department. We read your husband’s blog. We’d like to ask you some questions.”
Wait, what?
Yep, Disney Legal is following my blog. And they like it. And no, things didn’t go too well for our friends in the Great State of Tennessee. Like Puffy on Making the Band, Disney came in this past July and shut the studio down. BOOM. No more Disney for you! If you go to blueskyjourneys.com, you just get clip art and pixie dust, right? Right. That’s what business closure looks like.
So the wife and I giggled and guffawed, poured out some liquor and played Boys II Men’s It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday. Ding Dong! The Witch is dead, right? Not exactly. Apparently, you can have your business shut down by Disney and turn around and make a new one THE VERY NEXT DAY…as long as you put it under someone else’s name. Well, a couple of their planners didn’t like the idea and left—of course saying a couple left is like saying Moses took a few people into the desert with him. But whatever—end of the story, right?
Nope.
Now I have to be cautious about what I say because I don’t want to go to jail for slander for discussing a case in litigation—and we all know I’m too pretty for jail—but it is the summer movie season. So let me present it like a trailer:
FADE IN:
Imagine one of those helicopter shots flashing over Disney World toward Epcot.
DEEP-VOICE NARRATOR:
In world where girls just want to dance…and go to Disney World…
CUT TO:
Hotel lobby. A group of dance moms and their dancers stand huddled by the desk. They have tear-stained faces and frazzled hair. The hotel clerk is also disheveled and tired. Things are clearly not going well.
DANCE MOM 1:
What do you mean we don’t have rooms?! We booked with Blue Sky Journeys months ago!
CLERK
I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. We don’t have a reservation for you–not for any of you.
CUT TO:
Same hotel lobby, a young, exhausted travel agent clutches her cellphone to her ear.
TRAVEL AGENT
John, the police want to talk to you! They’re down here now!
CUT TO:
Dimly lit police station. Two detectives are huddled over open files. Stacks of papers and receipts, boxes of folders and evidence bags litter the room. They are pointing at a bulletin board with photos, Disney paraphernalia, colored yarn strung tight between thumbtacks. Looking for connections.
DETECTIVE 1:
Well, how much are they in for?
DETECTIVE 2:
Looks like at least $60,000.
DETECTIVE 1 (grabbing cuffs):
$60,000? Poor little kids. Come on, Ron, let’s go get them.
CUT TO:
And those are arrest records, folks. For realz. Look at the date–that shit happened on FRIDAY. I saw them and was all like:
You know that can’t be all, right? I got police records, incident reports and a note: if I just got bailed out of jail, the first thing I’d do is go in vacation. Wouldn’t you?
And now there’s more...
Crooked Letterz 
Everyone knows you don’t mess with a Dance Mom…..Great blog Chris
Thanks Scott! And no, you don’t mess with a Dance Mom. That’s playing with fire.
“I tried to play ball with these ass clowns” – IRON MAN 2
Heh heh heh – classic line.
Reblogged this on Life & Love in Seattle.
Reap what you sow!!!
Being an ex (CRY) Disney Castmember and working with travel agents, I can definitely agree with your wife here. Disney Earmark is huge! Everyone wants that. EVERYONE. Seriously…
I’m just glad you two have been able to move on from their b.s. It’s funny that they’re digging even deeper into those graves.
And p.s. I post here all the time! I love villains! 😉
Yes, you do post here all the time–and I LOVE you for it!
This is a classic case of reaping what you sow. I think the best part is it had nothing to do with us. This is asses being asses.
Gotta love asses getting what they deserve! At least we get to sit back and laugh!! It’s just too bad your wife was in the cross hairs of their fire.
Chris you are outstanding!! These ASSCLOWNS ( and that term is way too nice, but I will refrain)
will get what they deserve!! Thank God For the Ann Carroll Dance Company! I am so sorry they had to deal with the likes of these scumbags…but FINALLY… someone put them in their place!
hmmmn??? where did the bail money come from.???? I am sure they were FIRED from Disney and I am sure they bullshitted their way out of that FELONY…. for now!!
I’m glad you approve, Judy. Remind me to NEVER get on your bad side! 🙂
It’s infuriating that some “people” seem to always get away with shady behavior!! This needs to stop already! I realize that a narcissist thinks they’re above the law, Disney, clients, and basically everyone else, but come one!! The karma bus needs to roll them over already!! Beep Beep!
I think the Karma is firmly parked in their driveway. I think a That’s What You Get taco truck just pulled up behind it too. I gotta say, it’s tough to feel above the law in handcuffs. We’ll have to see how this plays out
So.. As I told your awesome wife Friday, after going OHHHHH!!! DAAMMNNN!! And throwing in a SNAP, and about time, this is Disney’s version of poetic justice… I also asked “when is Chris blogging about this?”.. That’s when I had the realization, your bday saving wife (once again THANK YOU BOTH!!) and I may not have MET if it wasn’t for these clowns. Each time I heard an update about their antics I would get so mad that Disney legal COULDN’T stop them. I am though glad the state of Tenn did, at least for now.. I feel bad for the kids and their parents that got screwed out of their Disney trip, that just ISN”T magical at all.
I really am hoping the rest of the DTA community hears about this soon so that people get the word out to not use their company.. I am also wondering what will happen if they are still sitting at house of mouse the day they are suppose to be in court.. *thinking* You know, I do have a family friend my dad calls “Disney CSI” that works with the mickey police… maybe we should warn him LOL…
It sounds like the kids got their trip but not without some benevolence of the attendees and some “magic” on Disney’s side. That’s the good part. The bad part is the crap it took for them to get it.
So some good did come out of these knuckleheads: you and Amanda got to hang out, I got Disney to check out my blog (hey guys, I have a couple screenplay ideas!), and my kid is gonna autotune that voicemail. Win-win for all!
And they had the nerve to call my wife “dispicable” because she stood up to those clowns and there unprofessional, inappropriate behavior. Couldn’t be happier.
You know, John, I’ve always admired your classiness in this whole escapade. Seriously. It keeps me grounded, even when my hands get dirty. I know we shouldn’t laugh at the misfortunes of others–but damn, isn’t it funny?
So someone said something to me about “that info can’t be published” my response.. It is PUBLIC RECORD published online by the state, available for anyone to find, or post. So to end any fussing others may do here my fellow readers who don’t understand the legalities of public record is the definition of what it is, and the state of Tennessee’s stance on it..
Layman’s Definition/Explanation of Public Record.
Public records are documents or pieces of information that are not considered confidential.
For example, in California, when a couple fills out a marriage license application, they have the option of checking the box as to whether the marriage is “confidential” (Record will be closed, and not opened to public once recorded) or “public” (record will become public record once recorded). Basically, if the marriage record is public, a copy of the record can be ordered from the county in which the marriage occurred.
While each state has its own standards about what information is considered public record, the following information is generally available under the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA).
Census records, Criminal records, Consumer protection information, Court dockets, Government Legislation minutes, Professional and business licenses, Real estate appraisal records, Sex offender registration files, Voter registration.
Tennessee’s Stance on Public Record: Access to Public Records in Tennessee
Tennessee’s public record law (Tenn. Code Ann. §§ 10-7-101 to 10-7-702) has a very broad definition of what is “public,” but under Tenn. Code Ann. § 10-7-503(a)(2)(A) applies only to requests by “any citizen of this state.” If you are not in Tennessee but need public records in the state, you should find someone in the state to make requests for you.
Tennessee also has an extensive list of “confidential” information that is exempt from disclosure, so before making a request, make sure you are not requesting something that is protected in order to save yourself time.
You do not have to declare your reason for wanting to access records, with the exception of certain records related to law enforcement (see below).
What Records Are Covered in Tennessee: What Government Bodies Are Covered
The following departments are subject to the open records law: any legislative body; any common law, circuit, criminal or chancery court; register’s books; surveyor’s books; entry taker’s books; any other records required by law to be maintained.
What Types of Records Can Be Requested
Any document, paper, record or book of a government body, or any pleading or other paper filed in a court, is considered a public record.
Damn! You should turn this into a movie. I have met John and Melanie and have Followed BSJ since it started. Didn’t know them well enough to know they were this crazy but feel like I really know them after reading these emails and have learned what not to do if I ever start a business and hire people. This is the most unprofessional I’ve ever seen a owner act and thank god BSJ is no longer because these people don’t need to run a business. By the way a big country music stars wife who had a dance kid fronted the money($60k) for John at Disney sand besides messing with Dance Moms you don’t mess with Country Music Wife’s in Nashville. Apparently when it was time for someone to pay back it didn’t happen. Now there’s a new secret Travel Agency up North that opened up that will be going under also when these 2 go to jail or made to pay back that $60k.
Hi JB –
I agree. I’m glad you were not caught up. To see the official court docs look at the new post: https://christopherstarr.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/1680/#comments